WOULD YOU LIVE IN GRUDGE RATHER THAN FORGIVENESS? [A must-read Article for every Individual]

By: Boluwaji Daso

 

“When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but too rarely” Steve Maraboli

Welcome to the generation of big men and big women, proud boys and lofty girls, the period when resentment was the preferred method of resolving disputes. In reality, many people prefer holding grudges to resolving conflicts with one another. 

Welcome to a generation where as a result of selfishness, holding grudges has become a disease that has infected many people's body and spiritual systems.

Harboring resentment has had a fatal ailment that many people have been suffering from, and it has eaten deeply into the hearts and souls of many individuals, even so-called "Christians and Muslims" in modern society. Imagine a church's pastor, who is regarded as a “spiritual father” by thousands of Christians, refusing to break the habit of harboring resentment toward other church members due to misunderstandings. 

What kind of legacy is this preacher leaving for the churchgoers?

According to Colossians, Chapter 3 verse 13 says: “bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive”

The same is true for some members who failed to show forgiveness to their pastors, sisters, brothers, or church elder because of a request they made that wasn't met. 

Isn't it upsetting to witness two of your closest friends, partners, or colleagues suddenly part ways because one failed to recognize their error?, which then caused a breach in communication. Do you even realize that people holding grudges against one another might also originate from failing to express regret to one another? 

How sardonic is it to realize how many happy families have been destroyed because a wife refused to apologize or a husband feels disdainful to apologize, presumably because one believes that saying sorry after making a mistake to another person makes one a fool.

 What is a grudge?, According to Cambridge English Dictionary. it is, “a strong feeling of anger and dislike for a person who you feel has treated you badly, especially one that lasts for a long time”

Grudges, as defined above, are simply a person's refusal to acknowledge their involvement in a certain phenomenon, typically motivated by dislike or wrath. 

Furthermore, it is very frequent among students in tertiary institutions of learning for two best friends to hate on a classmate who is above them in the hierarchy, probably because of the person's position or popularity on campus.

However, it appears that some lecturers harbor animosities toward their students due to broken promises. Those who are supposed to act as the students' Academic Fathers failed to fulfill their obligations by pleading with or motivating them to succeed in their academic careers in such institutions.

 Some professors are frequently found in this circumstance harboring animosity toward their students out of self-interest. Typically, attractive women struggle to win over their male professors' forgiveness because they broke their promises to them in favor of their physical desires.

Grudges bring more anger and bitterness into new relationships and experience which has become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present. Additionally, many people lose Valuable and enriching connections with others all because of the inability to forgive one another. 

Holding grudges do not allow a person or persons to disclose personal feelings that bother one another, meanwhile, it is more painful when there is no connection where it is supposed to be. 

Holding grudges can lead to stinking thinking, cause difficulty in developing emotional solemnity and result in a great deal of bitterness about life in widespread. It can also impede personal growth and even lead to a regression 

In a similar vein, Everyone makes mistakes. If you can’t forgive others, don’t expect others to forgive you; holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong: it can only make you bitter, likewise forgiving doesn’t make you weak: it set you free.

Therefore, be gentle and ready to forgive; Never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

When you let go of Grudges, Forgive people, and move on with life feels so much better than holding on to anger and resentment. (Ephesians 4:31).